Weblog
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
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When Life Changes
A number of people I know have experienced disaster. Disaster terrifies and somehow fascinates me. Maybe this has something to do with why I am so attracted to disaster movies, but their disasters aren't like a natural disaster. Theirs are of a personal nature.
The wife and mother of a family I know died from Breast cancer. Her youngest, I believe, is in junior high. Her husband broke down while receiving an award in her name.
Another family I know faces the same thing, and the prognosis isn't good.
I'll never forget the day my father-in-law showed the full effects of Alzheimer's, and angrily socked my husband. He never, ever, would have done any such thing in his right mind.
Another family I know had two healthy children. Then their third was born with crie-de-chat syndrome, which comes with mental retardation and physical disability.
A talented teenager is killed in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver.
I know a man who, though sober himself, was in a car with those who were not. There was an accident, and for the past 30 years he has been confined to a wheelchair, barely able to speak, in spasticity.
He had a dear friend who developed MS, whose husband left her after she got the diagnosis. Then she died after 15 years or so, and the man is left alone.
Who wakes up in the morning planning and expecting this stuff? And if you do, it is called being morbid. We buy insurance, counting it worth the price if nothing like this ever happens to us-- and we leave it there. But stuff does happen, and insurance can run out short of the solution.
My father-in-law's Alzheimer's sobered me up in a hurry. I saw what my mother-in-law went through to keep him at home. It was unspeakable, and I know I only saw what she allowed us to see. We all say, "I don't know what I'd do if..." ...you fill in the blank.
Lately I've been thinking and praying about flexibility and submission. Yesterday I wrote about the expectations we all normally have of life. For some of us, a day arrives when all those expectations are blown away, and life changes forever. None of the above people planned on what happened to them. You don't really ever plan for this stuff. If ever there is a situation that forces us to deal with the fact that we are never really in control of our own lives it's these kinds of situations.
Yet the people of God do have a refuge and a hope. It is guaranteed to us, for example, that no matter what happens, God does not leave us. He still sees us, and for His people He has a will for that situation that involves a treasure that we would not have otherwise found. He promises that we will find that treasure, and the whole mother lode afterwards.
Once when I was a child, my parents took me to an ice cream place. I had a nice chocolate ice cream cone in mind. But they wanted me to have an ice cream sandwich. I was shocked, disgusted, angry, and proceeded to have a righteous tantrum. I'd heard the word sandwich, and though it meant that I was going to have some ice cream thing between two slices of bread. The waste of good ice cream outraged me. I certainly did not want that! When it arrived, however, I realised that it was pretty darned good after all, and to this day I have never refused an ice cream sandwich. In the meantime, I'd wasted alot of energy objecting to what my parents were offering me, instead of going with the flow and expecting a blessing from kind people.
What I'm finding myself praying for is that when personal disaster strikes (and I am expecting it, so deal with that however you like), I will waste no time in struggling and objecting and having tantrums about it. I want to be the child that says to the Father, "Thy will, not mine." I want to live right now with that in mind. I want all the good things I have to be held with thanksgiving, but lightly, since I know that at any time the Father may choose to put something different on my plate. I want a sweet and holy flexibility that cuts to the truth of a matter and deals with it with both eyes on the Father, not on my problem. Whatever disaster I have coming, I need to understand at the deepest possible level that it is temporary, though it may be with me for the rest of my life.
I have a friend who recently lost her husband, a dear, wise, godly man to a painful pancreatic cancer. They have five children, the youngest in junior high. At the funeral, she was able to smile and be brave and acted like someone who knew Her Father was in control of it all. I know she will have her pain-- a pain I hope I never experience. But I also know her well enough to know that she is busily mining treasure right now. The Lord is unearthing wisdom and strength that will be passed down through the family and distributed among all who know her. WIth one hand, she is holding to the Father's. With the other, she is passing out largesse.
Make me like that, Father.
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
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Talking To Myself
Most, if not all of us, grew up with certain expectations of life. In grade school we would tell each other what we wanted to be when we grew up. In college we looked forward to that first job or to making a mark in the field we had chosen. If we didn't go to college, we wanted a family and a home. Maybe we grew up with talents so shining that others were always telling us we'd be superstars one day.
At my age I'm at a place where I can review all those expectations. I can look around and see what some of my childhood friends have done with their lives. I look back on my own life and I can see how things have turned out.
Last Sunday we heard a sermon from a newly minted pastor (he had just been ordained a couple of weeks before; Brian Davis is the new Reformed University Fellowship leader here on campus). His sermon had to do with boasting.
Biblically, boasting isn't really as silly or obvious as saying 'my dad can beat up your dad' or even 'my bank account is bigger than your bank account'. It has more to do with what we are putting our trust in. Pushing it even farther, he said, what do we point to to "justify our existence"? If it is anything other than Jesus Christ, we've got some work to do. Then he pointed out some things that can be symptomatic of this failure.
Workaholism: Is doing more, better, longer of whatever we do a way we "justify our existence"?
Over-involvement: Do we have this need to participate in every last Good Work or Worthy Cause in order to justify our existence?
Excellence: Is my work never "good enough"? Do I suffer from the "woulda, coulda, shouldas"?
Family: Do I want my whole family to be "known for" its godliness and faithfulness?
Guess what? Christianity is the only religion that begins with the premise that we are all screwups, and ends with the premise that ANY solution to this problem is God's problem, because NOTHING we can do will ever change that reality.
If you work 24/7/365, you will still be a screwup.
If you head committees, handle crises, organise and carry out solutions to all the world's problems, you will still be a screwup.
If no one has, or ever will, attained the heights of your insight, your ability, your genius, you will still be a screwup.
If you have fifteen children and they are all believers and they all grow up to be missionaries and martyrs, you will still be a screwup in need of salvation-- and so will they.
You still need Jesus to give His life for your screwedup-ness. In the end, you only justify your existence by letting Him do that. And even if you do this excellently, you are still constantly a screwup who needs His mercy and salvation every second of your life. You'll never get to a point in this earthly life where He says to you, "OK, kid, there's nothing more I can do for you. You're perfect now!"
"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36
This is not meant to be a discouragement to doing, thinking, and attaining to excellence and faithfulness. We glorify God in these things, and God does expect a return on His investment in us. But be careful in what you put your "boast".
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Matt. 7:21-23
And what is the Lord's will that we do?
Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." John 6:29
Thursday, 19 November 2009
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Word Problems
Email to my husband:
Paris is six hours ahead of us here. That means you arrive in Paris at about 5:40 AM our time. You leave at about 7:50 AM our time. You arrive in Detroit at 4:45 PM, and into Indy at 9:05 P, which will feel like four in the AM to you on Turkey time. Turkey time will occur here at approximately 2 in the afternoon of the 26th, which is 9 at night Jerusalem time, which is why we don’t do ham on that day. Timing is everything.
Now if a plane takes off from Paris de Gaulle at 300 knots heading west, and at the same time another plane takes off from Detroit heading east at 325 knots, at what geographical point do they meet, assuming tail winds on the westbound jet of 50 knots at 39K ft and a headwind of 40 knots on the eastbound, plus a cargo on the eastbound jet of 6 attendants weighing a total of 70 lbs heavier than the cute French attendants who look like they weigh more, especially up top only it’s really all silicone which has a different density than human tissue? Additionally factor in the extra fat in the heads of the French pilots as opposed to the cotton in the heads of the American ones, and subtract the air in the heads of the American attendants. But also keep in mind the extreme hot air spewing forth from the French ventilation system providing extra thrust. Show your work.
Tell me that, and I’ll be sure to wave at you as my jet passes yours on its way to Newfoundland.
I am VERY glad you are coming home. DO NOT pose me any mathematical problems.
moi
Thursday, 05 November 2009
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True Sense
Some time ago, I was wasting a little time thinking about the physical life we have and the souls inside of us, and how all that works together. Mind you, it was all just conjecture on my part, compared against Scripture in only a very superficial way, so I warn you not to take what follows as theological truth-- only the musings of an old lady.
At that time I was thinking about how our bodies are equipped with physical sense to experience, interpret and learn about the world around us. We rely on them, and the loss of even one of them is considered a great loss.
There will be a time, however, when we will lose all our senses, and yet continue to be aware: at death. It is a fact borne out both in experience (from those who have 'died' and live to tell about it) and in Scripture, that after death, the senses still live on in some way. One can still see and hear. I know less about the other ones, but something tells me they still function too. So, it seems to me that our senses transcend physicality somehow. In other words, they apparently overlap our souls. We go on, in our awareness, without bodies.
This morning I was thinking some more about this.
Last year I went on a trip out West, and one of the things I could have done was a balloon ride above the Tetons. It was expensive, so I passed it up, but I would have loved to try it. Anyway, I talked to a few of the people who did it. They said what was fascinating about it was the silence-- and yet, they could hear all sorts of sounds from sources far away. Separated from an 'immediate' environment, they heard the ordinary sounds of life coming from below, across a wide swath of land. That is something I would love to experience, but I'll never be able to, even if I took a balloon ride. I suffer from familial nerve deafness, and a tinnitus that drowns out alot of what I can hear. No matter where I go, the tinnitus goes with me, and it is that that I primarily hear 24/7/365. Just for a few minutes, I crave to hear silence. Or something like that balloon experience, with pure Earth-noise floating up to me. When my body is taken away, so will its physical limitations. I thank God for that truth to look forward to. No more tinnitus!
If my senses are connected to my soul, then it seems to follow that there is a spiritual dimension to sense. This too seems to be borne out in Scripture. There, it looks like a literary tool, but I wonder. All through Scripture, there are allusions to the idea that what is there for us to sense is not merely to physically sense:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:8 Here it looks as though there was a discernment to the hearing of Adam and Eve that convicted them of their sinfulness in contrast to the Lord's purity.
Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Job 12:11 Think about this one. How does the ear 'test' words? and how should the tongue 'test' the taste of food? Is it possible that there is discernment to be had even in the work of the tongue as in the work of the ear?
Back when I was first thinking about all this, it struck me that while we are in our bodies, we will experience primarily the physical aspect of our senses. But when we have our bodies no longer, perhaps-- just perhaps, we will begin to experience the spiritual aspects of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Maybe at that time we will being to discern the source of these things. Certainly the Scriptures make it clear that the physical aspect of experiencing God's wrath is not primarily physical-- although that is certainly present, as we will at that time all have immortal bodies-- but agonisingly spiritual. And for those who have acknowledged Christ and recognised the gift of His salvation-- the physical and spiritual aspects of our senses are in an explosion of joy.
Out of all this, I began to wonder if the Lord does not want us to begin to acknowledge and develop our spiritual senses, to strive to use what we have to gain a deeper wisdom and discernment than have those without God. Is it possible that there is more to our senses that we are overlooking? I found myself praying for discernment on this, that if there is some greater part of my soul's senses for which I need to be asking the Lord, that He would begin to open that up to me.
I don't want ESP, let me make that clear. What I want is to sense with my physical body, but also to discern the source, intention and meaning of what I am sensing. I want to wait for God in my body. I don't know how to put it better than that. I want that with careful discernment, and the watchful fellowship of the saints around me to guard me. All this for God's use, not for my profit.
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
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An It?...or a Who?
One of the things I love about keeping a blog is that I get folks from all over the world reading this thing. On occasion they even post comments on what I have written. Recently I had a comment conversation with a person from Finland. He/she was an atheist and took issue with my post about pi :(http://craigellachie.xanga.com/707444501/the-god-of-pi/?page=1&jump=1501833364&leftcmt=1#1501833364, scroll down to the bottom to see the comments).
In them, my commenter takes issue with the personality of God. One of the toughest things to accept about God is this issue, especially with the science-minded. When we speak of God in Judeo-Christianity, we are not talking about some impersonal Force That Makes Things Go. What we have to come to terms with is that the One Who created the Universe-- and me-- is looking at me. Not as an It, but as a Who. I do believe that this is what caused all those patriarchs to fall flat on their faces. If they could have, I've no doubt they would have shuffled themselves into the soil like those little desert reptiles, only I think they would have hidden their eyes too. You've known a little of this terror if you have watched any science fiction movie in which the alien comes to earth in great power, turns its giant eye on the little bitty human, and proceeds to zap them into a mist. Faced with the glory and power of Him Who created all that is, and knowing His Eye is on you, you'd cower too.It's much more comfortable to think of God as an It. There is power there, but only like a bolt of lightning which may or may not hit me. It can't see me and it has no feelings for me. It reacts to humanity as a whole, not to little old me. Whatever good or bad happens to me is pure chance, a by-product of this Big Power Out There.
Psalm 50 makes it pretty clear that this is not the case. He is listening; He is watching. He is the God Who Sees Me, El Roi (Genesis 16:13) There is not just power there. There is intention, plan, and judgement.
Now, you can reject all this. You can hide your head in the desert soil. You can say, "Prove it." But you are not seeing the forest for the trees. Proof is all around you. El Roi says,
6 And the heavens proclaim his righteousness,
for God himself is judge.
Selah7 "Hear, O my people, and I will speak,
O Israel, and I will testify against you:
I am God, your God.8 I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices
or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.9 I have no need of a bull from your stall
or of goats from your pens,10 for every animal of the forest is mine,
and the cattle on a thousand hills.11 I know every bird in the mountains,
and the creatures of the field are mine.This is scary stuff if it is real. But what is true is that it works the other way too. If you acknowledge Him and submit to Him and run towards Him instead of away from Him, He is the loving God. He is the God Who Sees Me, the One WHo Is On My Side, the God WHo Rescues And Keeps Me Safe. Not just for this life, but for all eternity. You've never, ever been safer. All the power of His hands is lightning quick to keep you from evil.
I won't go into why bad things happen to God's people here. There are martyrs. God's people are afflicted. But they are ultimately, eternally safe. Safety is more than just physical; it is spiritual and emotional as well. The world is tormented. But we can know a safety that is ultimate. Only those in Christ know what this safety truly means. It is the safety not just of power, but of a Father's arms.
The arms of El Roi.
craigellachie
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- Name: ECF
- Member Since: 2/27/2003
