craigellachie's Xanga

When Life Changes

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:12:52 GMT

A number of people I know have experienced disaster. Disaster terrifies and somehow fascinates me. Maybe this has something to do with why I am so attracted to disaster movies, but their disasters aren't like a natural disaster. Theirs are of a personal nature.

The wife and mother of a family I know died from Breast cancer. Her youngest, I believe, is in junior high. Her husband broke down while receiving an award in her name.

Another family I know faces the same thing, and the prognosis isn't good.

I'll never forget the day my father-in-law showed the full effects of Alzheimer's, and angrily socked my husband. He never, ever, would have done any such thing in his right mind.

Another family I know had two healthy children. Then their third was born with crie-de-chat syndrome, which comes with mental retardation and physical disability.

A talented teenager is killed in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver.

I know a man who, though sober himself, was in a car with those who were not. There was an accident, and for the past 30 years he has been confined to a wheelchair, barely able to speak, in spasticity.

He had a dear friend who developed MS, whose husband left her after she got the diagnosis. Then she died after 15 years or so, and the man is left alone.

Who wakes up in the morning planning and expecting this stuff? And if you do, it is called being morbid. We buy insurance, counting it worth the price if nothing like this ever happens to us-- and we leave it there. But stuff does happen, and insurance can run out short of the solution.

My father-in-law's Alzheimer's sobered me up in a hurry. I saw what my mother-in-law went through to keep him at home. It was unspeakable, and I know I only saw what she allowed us to see. We all say, "I don't know what I'd do if..." ...you fill in the blank.

Lately I've been thinking and praying about flexibility and submission. Yesterday I wrote about the expectations we all normally have of life. For some of us, a day arrives when all those expectations are blown away, and life changes forever. None of the above people planned on what happened to them. You don't really ever plan for this stuff. If ever there is a situation that forces us to deal with the fact that we are never really in control of our own lives it's these kinds of situations.

Yet the people of God do have a refuge and a hope. It is guaranteed to us, for example, that no matter what happens, God does not leave us. He still sees us, and for His people He has a will for that situation that involves a treasure that we would not have otherwise found. He promises that we will find that treasure, and the whole mother lode afterwards.

Once when I was a child, my parents took me to an ice cream place. I had a nice chocolate ice cream cone in mind. But they wanted me to have an ice cream sandwich. I was shocked, disgusted, angry, and proceeded to have a righteous tantrum. I'd heard the word sandwich, and though it meant that I was going to have some ice cream thing between two slices of bread. The waste of good ice cream outraged me. I certainly did not want that! When it arrived, however, I realised that it was pretty darned good after all, and to this day I have never refused an ice cream sandwich. In the meantime, I'd wasted alot of energy objecting to what my parents were offering me, instead of going with the flow and expecting a blessing from kind people.

What I'm finding myself praying for is that when personal disaster strikes (and I am expecting it, so deal with that however you like), I will waste no time in struggling and objecting and having tantrums about it. I want to be the child that says to the Father, "Thy will, not mine." I want to live right now with that in mind. I want all the good things I have to be held with thanksgiving, but lightly, since I know that at any time the Father may choose to put something different on my plate. I want a sweet and holy flexibility that cuts to the truth of a matter and deals with it with both eyes on the Father, not on my problem. Whatever disaster I have coming, I need to understand at the deepest possible level that it is temporary, though it may be with me for the rest of my life.

I have a friend who recently lost her husband, a dear, wise, godly man to a painful pancreatic cancer. They have five children, the youngest in junior high. At the funeral, she was able to smile and be brave and acted like someone who knew Her Father was in control of it all. I know she will have her pain-- a pain I hope I never experience. But I also know her well enough to know that she is busily mining treasure right now. The Lord is unearthing wisdom and strength that will be passed down through the family and distributed among all who know her. WIth one hand, she is holding to the Father's. With the other, she is passing out largesse.

Make me like that, Father.

Talking To Myself

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:22:39 GMT

Most, if not all of us, grew up with certain expectations of life. In grade school we would tell each other what we wanted to be when we grew up. In college we looked forward to that first job or to making a mark in the field we had chosen. If we didn't go to college, we wanted a family and a home. Maybe we grew up with talents so shining that others were always telling us we'd be superstars one day.

At my age I'm at a place where I can review all those expectations. I can look around and see what some of my childhood friends have done with their lives. I look back on my own life and I can see how things have turned out.

Last Sunday we heard a sermon from a newly minted pastor (he had just been ordained a couple of weeks before; Brian Davis is the new Reformed University Fellowship leader here on campus). His sermon had to do with boasting.

Biblically, boasting isn't really as silly or obvious as saying 'my dad can beat up your dad' or even 'my bank account is bigger than your bank account'. It has more to do with what we are putting our trust in. Pushing it even farther, he said, what do we point to to "justify our existence"? If it is anything other than Jesus Christ, we've got some work to do. Then he pointed out some things that can be symptomatic of this failure.

Workaholism: Is doing more, better, longer of whatever we do a way we "justify our existence"?
Over-involvement: Do we have this need to participate in every last Good Work or Worthy Cause in order to justify our existence?
Excellence: Is my work never "good enough"? Do I suffer from the "woulda, coulda, shouldas"?
Family: Do I want my whole family to be "known for" its godliness and faithfulness?

Guess what? Christianity is the only religion that begins with the premise that we are all screwups, and ends with the premise that ANY solution to this problem is God's problem, because NOTHING we can do will ever change that reality.

If you work 24/7/365, you will still be a screwup.
If you head committees, handle crises, organise and carry out solutions to all the world's problems, you will still be a screwup.
If no one has, or ever will, attained the heights of your insight, your ability, your genius, you will still be a screwup.
If you have fifteen children and they are all believers and they all grow up to be missionaries and martyrs, you will still be a screwup in need of salvation-- and so will they.

You still need Jesus to give His life for your screwedup-ness. In the end, you only justify your existence by letting Him do that. And even if you do this excellently, you are still constantly a screwup who needs His mercy and salvation every second of your life. You'll never get to a point in this earthly life where He says to you, "OK, kid, there's nothing more I can do for you. You're perfect now!"

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36

This is not meant to be a discouragement to doing, thinking, and attaining to excellence and faithfulness. We glorify God in these things, and God does expect a return on His investment in us. But be careful in what you put your "boast".

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Matt. 7:21-23

And what is the Lord's will that we do?

Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." John 6:29

Word Problems

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:33:04 GMT

Email to my husband:

Paris is six hours ahead of us here. That means you arrive in Paris at about 5:40 AM our time. You leave at about 7:50 AM our time. You arrive in Detroit at 4:45 PM, and into Indy at 9:05 P, which will feel like four in the AM to you on Turkey time. Turkey time will occur here at approximately 2 in the afternoon of the 26^th, which is 9 at night Jerusalem time, which is why we don’t do ham on that day. Timing is everything.

Now if a plane takes off from Paris de Gaulle at 300 knots heading west, and at the same time another plane takes off from Detroit heading east at 325 knots, at what geographical point do they meet, assuming tail winds on the westbound jet of 50 knots at 39K ft and a headwind of 40 knots on the eastbound, plus a cargo on the eastbound jet of 6 attendants weighing a total of 70 lbs heavier than the cute French attendants who look like they weigh more, especially up top only it’s really all silicone which has a different density than human tissue? Additionally factor in the extra fat in the heads of the French pilots as opposed to the cotton in the heads of the American ones, and subtract the air in the heads of the American attendants. But also keep in mind the extreme hot air spewing forth from the French ventilation system providing extra thrust. Show your work.

Tell me that, and I’ll be sure to wave at you as my jet passes yours on its way to Newfoundland.

I am VERY glad you are coming home. DO NOT pose me any mathematical problems.

moi

True Sense

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:06:41 GMT

Some time ago, I was wasting a little time thinking about the physical life we have and the souls inside of us, and how all that works together. Mind you, it was all just conjecture on my part, compared against Scripture in only a very superficial way, so I warn you not to take what follows as theological truth-- only the musings of an old lady.

At that time I was thinking about how our bodies are equipped with physical sense to experience, interpret and learn about the world around us. We rely on them, and the loss of even one of them is considered a great loss.

There will be a time, however, when we will lose all our senses, and yet continue to be aware: at death. It is a fact borne out both in experience (from those who have 'died' and live to tell about it) and in Scripture, that after death, the senses still live on in some way. One can still see and hear. I know less about the other ones, but something tells me they still function too. So, it seems to me that our senses transcend physicality somehow. In other words, they apparently overlap our souls. We go on, in our awareness, without bodies.

This morning I was thinking some more about this.

Last year I went on a trip out West, and one of the things I could have done was a balloon ride above the Tetons. It was expensive, so I passed it up, but I would have loved to try it. Anyway, I talked to a few of the people who did it. They said what was fascinating about it was the silence-- and yet, they could hear all sorts of sounds from sources far away. Separated from an 'immediate' environment, they heard the ordinary sounds of life coming from below, across a wide swath of land. That is something I would love to experience, but I'll never be able to, even if I took a balloon ride. I suffer from familial nerve deafness, and a tinnitus that drowns out alot of what I can hear. No matter where I go, the tinnitus goes with me, and it is that that I primarily hear 24/7/365. Just for a few minutes, I crave to hear silence. Or something like that balloon experience, with pure Earth-noise floating up to me. When my body is taken away, so will its physical limitations. I thank God for that truth to look forward to. No more tinnitus!

If my senses are connected to my soul, then it seems to follow that there is a spiritual dimension to sense. This too seems to be borne out in Scripture. There, it looks like a literary tool, but I wonder. All through Scripture, there are allusions to the idea that what is there for us to sense is not merely to physically sense:

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:8 Here it looks as though there was a discernment to the hearing of Adam and Eve that convicted them of their sinfulness in contrast to the Lord's purity.

Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Job 12:11 Think about this one. How does the ear 'test' words? and how should the tongue 'test' the taste of food? Is it possible that there is discernment to be had even in the work of the tongue as in the work of the ear?

Back when I was first thinking about all this, it struck me that while we are in our bodies, we will experience primarily the physical aspect of our senses. But when we have our bodies no longer, perhaps-- just perhaps, we will begin to experience the spiritual aspects of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Maybe at that time we will being to discern the source of these things. Certainly the Scriptures make it clear that the physical aspect of experiencing God's wrath is not primarily physical-- although that is certainly present, as we will at that time all have immortal bodies-- but agonisingly spiritual. And for those who have acknowledged Christ and recognised the gift of His salvation-- the physical and spiritual aspects of our senses are in an explosion of joy.

Out of all this, I began to wonder if the Lord does not want us to begin to acknowledge and develop our spiritual senses, to strive to use what we have to gain a deeper wisdom and discernment than have those without God. Is it possible that there is more to our senses that we are overlooking? I found myself praying for discernment on this, that if there is some greater part of my soul's senses for which I need to be asking the Lord, that He would begin to open that up to me.

I don't want ESP, let me make that clear. What I want is to sense with my physical body, but also to discern the source, intention and meaning of what I am sensing. I want to wait for God in my body. I don't know how to put it better than that. I want that with careful discernment, and the watchful fellowship of the saints around me to guard me. All this for God's use, not for my profit.

An It?...or a Who?

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:29:46 GMT

One of the things I love about keeping a blog is that I get folks from all over the world reading this thing. On occasion they even post comments on what I have written. Recently I had a comment conversation with a person from Finland. He/she was an atheist and took issue with my post about pi :(http://craigellachie.xanga.com/707444501/the-god-of-pi/?page=1&jump=1501833364&leftcmt=1#1501833364, scroll down to the bottom to see the comments).

In them, my commenter takes issue with the personality of God. One of the toughest things to accept about God is this issue, especially with the science-minded. When we speak of God in Judeo-Christianity, we are not talking about some impersonal Force That Makes Things Go. What we have to come to terms with is that the One Who created the Universe-- and me-- is looking at me. Not as an It, but as a Who. I do believe that this is what caused all those patriarchs to fall flat on their faces. If they could have, I've no doubt they would have shuffled themselves into the soil like those little desert reptiles, only I think they would have hidden their eyes too. You've known a little of this terror if you have watched any science fiction movie in which the alien comes to earth in great power, turns its giant eye on the little bitty human, and proceeds to zap them into a mist. Faced with the glory and power of Him Who created all that is, and knowing His Eye is on you, you'd cower too.

It's much more comfortable to think of God as an It. There is power there, but only like a bolt of lightning which may or may not hit me. It can't see me and it has no feelings for me. It reacts to humanity as a whole, not to little old me. Whatever good or bad happens to me is pure chance, a by-product of this Big Power Out There.

Psalm 50 makes it pretty clear that this is not the case. He is listening; He is watching. He is the God Who Sees Me, El Roi (Genesis 16:13) There is not just power there. There is intention, plan, and judgement.

Now, you can reject all this. You can hide your head in the desert soil. You can say, "Prove it." But you are not seeing the forest for the trees. Proof is all around you. El Roi says,

⁶ And the heavens proclaim his righteousness,
for God himself is judge.
Selah

⁷ "Hear, O my people, and I will speak,
O Israel, and I will testify against you:
I am God, your God.

⁸ I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices
or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.

⁹ I have no need of a bull from your stall
or of goats from your pens,

¹⁰ for every animal of the forest is mine,
and the cattle on a thousand hills.

¹¹ I know every bird in the mountains,
and the creatures of the field are mine.

This is scary stuff if it is real. But what is true is that it works the other way too. If you acknowledge Him and submit to Him and run towards Him instead of away from Him, He is the loving God. He is the God Who Sees Me, the One WHo Is On My Side, the God WHo Rescues And Keeps Me Safe. Not just for this life, but for all eternity. You've never, ever been safer. All the power of His hands is lightning quick to keep you from evil.

I won't go into why bad things happen to God's people here. There are martyrs. God's people are afflicted. But they are ultimately, eternally safe. Safety is more than just physical; it is spiritual and emotional as well. The world is tormented. But we can know a safety that is ultimate. Only those in Christ know what this safety truly means. It is the safety not just of power, but of a Father's arms.

The arms of El Roi.

Passing Through..Forgotten?

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:12:25 GMT

This morning I was praying for the mother of a friend, who is suffering from advanced osteoporosis. There is alot of pain accompanying the final stages of this disease. As most know, the bones become like wet chalk. They simply crumble... and those who have it seem to be literally returning to dust.

Here are some things that God tells us about ourselves as humans:

for dust you are and to dust you will return. Genesis 3:19

You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men." Psalm 90:3

But I am a worm and not a man... Psalm 22:6

You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. Psalm 90:5,6

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. Psalm 103:15, 16

If ever you've beheld a sight that has made you feel insignificant, it would appear that you were correct. You really are. I was thinking yesterday about the billions of life stories that are lost to us forever. You have tens of thousands of ancestors whom you do not know. They met, they had love stories (I hope), and struggles, joys and tragedies. They died and you do not know where their bodies lie. You could make a movie out of some of their lives. They are lost to history forever. Your life may also be. From the above verses, it looks on the surface as though God gets the good of us for His purposes, and then we die.

Dryer lint. Table dust. The fuzz on top of your fridge. The nuisance stuff you sweep away and it is gone.

OK, I am depressing you. I'm doing all that, though, to make a point that is much more glorious. God is not finished with you, you mote of dust. What is crumbling away can be salvaged and can be remade into something that is His personal treasure, like the undiscovered gold that lay in the ground, was unearthed, and made into a thing of precious beauty:

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; ⁴³it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; ⁴⁴it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 1 Corinthians 15:43,44

...in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 1 Corinthians 15:52

He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light. Job 33:28

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:40

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14:1, ff.

You may feel, as I do, the approach of age. You may be there already, trapped in a body that no longer can merrily skip and jump and climb trees, with the agility that does not mind a risk. You may fear being forgotten, taking your place among the motes in the dustbin, 'good for nothing' now. You wanted to make a mark; something that forever attests to the fact that Kilroy was here.

My friend's mother is fading and crumbling. She has not made a mark on the world that will last beyond perhaps five or six generations, except in the fact that she has descendants. The good news is that since she is in Christ, though her weak and deteriorating body will indeed be swept away, it will only be put aside for a moment. This lady knows who the Lord is. She knows His blessed Name. She was created for Him, and has almost finished serving His purposes here on this earth. It isn't all that necessary that she be remembered on this earth. What matters is that she will never be forgotten by God Almighty.

Perhaps Hell is to be forgotten by God as only God can forget? To have been a disposable part of His Creation, serving a lesser purpose as in Romans 9:22? The greatest work in all the world, this very word from God Himself through the instruments of His people, has warned us of what is to come and pleads for us to look for His face, that we might never be forgotten and instead take our place in His embrace, at His table?

You age and you crumble, but there is the possibility held out to you that you can yet cheat death. Know that you can be written on His heart, never to be forgotten-- but to do that, you have to look for, know, and trust Him in the person of Jesus Christ. For all who look for Him can rely on the God Who promises:

...For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:12, 13

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget,...

I will not forget you! Isaiah 49:15

Temptation, Part 2

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:19:02 GMT

A large auto dealership is selling off all their used cars at cost, in order to get out of what they see as an unprofitable business. I (brazenly) mentioned to Rich that I wanted a newer car, and that I hoped it would be a Land Rover, mentioning that I saw one only a couple of years old for sale at a price we could afford. Significantly, this conversation took place on our way to church.

Me: "The undercarriage clearance on those things is wonderful, and they're all-wheel drive. They'll do anything. They'll go anywhere!"

Rich: "And you need this car to carry you to what out-of-the-way, rough-hewn, unreachable places where an ordinary car would be challenged?"

Me: "Oh, you know....places like.. Ohio."

The Approach of Temptation

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:08:08 GMT

An odd thing occurred last evening just before I went to bed. I was approached by temptation. Of course, temptation is nothing new to me, but it usually approaches in the form of say, a piece of cake, or a book when I have housework to do. No, the odd thing about this temptation was that it was in the form of something I'm usually not tempted by: luxury goods.

To be sure, I like well-crafted items of good quality. If I buy something, I want to to be sure that it will do the thing I require of it, and do it for a good while without repair or too much fuss. But last night I got into the strangest fantasy mode. I began to wonder what people saw in luxury watches. You know, Rolexes, Audemars-Piguet, Philippe-Patek. So I made a little experiment. I pretended I was in the market for one of these things. I went to their website with a 'money-is-no-object' mentality, and since so many had pictures with no price tag, I chose ones I liked, and then looked at the prices. The watches I liked ranged from around 5 to 15K. One watch I didn't choose was 230K. So when you look at a Rolex, you're looking at an automobile perched on a wrist.

From there, I went looking at estate jewelry. I'm not a person who wears alot of jewelry, but if I can afford it, I like it to be real gold, silver, gems. That usually means I stick with the semi-precious stuff-- garnets, amethysts, peridots, lapis, amber; all of which I like rather better than the more expensive stuff like sapphires, emeralds, rubies. I checked out some gorgeous, lavish real sapphire necklaces. $50K and up. All of it would look ridiculous on me. But it got me thinking about the lifestyles of people who actually buy this stuff.

We're approaching the need of a new car. You can guess what I did with that. I happen to like Jaguars and Land Rovers.

Here's the weird thing, though. Some of the things I saw were actually within reach. Our budget could manage a sapphire ring with diamonds. Even a modest Piaget watch. I sensed danger. It was as if I could feel Satan massaging my shoulders and whispering why not? into my willing ears. Imagine what it would be like.

There has always been a seed of this within me. As a college student, on a mad spring day, I often strolled down Newbury Street in Boston, where all the modish boutiques are. I'd go in and try on a $2K dress, or ask to see an emerald ring, and try it on. Then, it was pure fantasy, because I had no way of affording even the most modest thing in those shops. Today it is different. And Satan never gives up. Pray for me.

This morning, I started my devotions by singing the doxology from Romans. My devotional spot looks out the window into our leafy street. I have a jar of hay, a Christmas Cactus, a favorite vase with a sprig of lavender right there, and hand-built bookcases on either side of me.. Today it was rainy and dark, the way it is in the woods. The leaves were shining and dripping, shuddering with raindrops: I could see the puddles shivering with them. Looking up, I saw the yellow-orange-green of the October leaves against the grey sky. I thought of this peaceful place in my warm, cozy house, provided by my amazing, handsome, wonderful, kind, intelligent husband. I thought of my senses, being able to see-- and paint-- the good things around me. I keep the hay there to remind me of the fields I love, the horse barns in my past. The lavender reminds me of dear friends who love me.

For from Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things...all these things have been given to me to enjoy. You have the raindrops. You have the leaves. You can smell the hay. God Himself, and eternal life is yours through Christ, if you want Him. I have been given all these. All these I can offer to you, priceless.

But free! Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Losing Friends

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:15:12 GMT

I think 40 is about the age where most of us begin looking back on our lives and thinking about the people we delighted in who are no longer a part of our world. This doesn't just mean beloved folks who are dead. It also means those who, for one reason or another, some quite natural, have just dropped out of our lives.

In school I had a friend named Joan Anthony. She is one of the ones I really miss. I would love to find her now and see what she is like, how life has molded her, and what she's up to. Joan was frighteningly intelligent. She wrote a paper for our senior year in high school anatomy and physiology class that her chemist father said could have been a master's thesis. But she was also a sensitive, poetic soul. She did go into chemistry at Ohio State, but had to leave the field because it simply stressed her so much. She went somewhere else, doing literature of some kind, I think, and got married to a guy named Wells. Try as I might, I can't find her. I miss you, Joan!

Then there was Penny, and Karen. These were smart and fun but somewhat tormented gals because of various things in their backgrounds and family lives. Karen was my best friend the first two years of college. Then I became a believer in Jesus Christ, and I was, for a while, not fit to be around. Because of my insensitivity, I lost Karen. I miss you, Karen. I think I should have listened more to you and talked less at you. As for Penny, I lost touch with her but found her after I'd had children and become a believer. I tried to sensitively reach out to her as a Christian but she was bluntly uninterested in anyone who 'needed a crutch'. There was also her sister Meg, who was a bright, cheery, curious soul. Both of these ladies had to have very common last names, dagnabbit. I can't find them. They aren't in Classmates, Reunion, or Facebook in any way that I can distinguish. Inside, and in spite of their struggles, they were neat people. I miss you both, Penny and Meg.

Some have just dropped out of my life. Maybe I offended them somehow. They know how to reach me, but choose not to. Well, I have not forgotten you all, and even if you are no longer my friend, I am still yours. I will never stop missing you.

As life as happened, I have grown to appreciate my friends more and more. I used to be a person with few friends, choosing only people with whom I could have deep relationships. This is no longer so important. As I've grown up (a process that is still happening) I have come to appreciate a much wider degree of person. I've learned that you don't have to able to live with a person to simply like them as they are. One reason I really like Facebook is that I can stay in touch with people even though I don't need to hang out with them or be close to them. It's like traveling through a fog. You can't see everyone, but you can give a shout and they shout back, and that is all that is needed. I love them and their various voices, and I know that although they don't like everything about me, they still want to hear me shout back to them when they call through the fog. If that's all it takes to be a friend, I can do that, but I am ready to do much more.

In the meantime, I just wish I could hear the voices from those I used to treasure. I miss them.

The Perfect Cell Phone

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:39:31 GMT

(For me, that is.)

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a phone person. I use it only to convey information and receive it, not to chat, not to email, not to take pictures, not to text. My cell phone recently got dropped on the floor, and apparently broke. So now I have to get a new one. The one that broke was so old it didn't even have a camera on it.

I guess a camera wouldn't be bad if I got into a fender bender and needed to take a picture, so I'll take the basic camera feature.

I'd like a lead-lined holster because I don't always carry my purse, and I don't always have a pocket. I understand that current advice is to not use the cell phone more than 22 hours a week, and not to keep it in one's pocket because apparently they do up a risk of cancer. Even if I use a cell phone for only ten minutes a week , max, I still have to be available to others, which means it has to be on. And make me a carrier that can be hung around my neck, clipped to my shirt or attached to my arm via an armband, so I can hear it when it rings.

As a far-sighted person, I want one whose numbers are quite visible. Designers-- get with it! I don't want tiny shiny silver numbers on a grey surface! And I don't want white numbers on gray rubber buttons, either. Big. Give me BIG numbers.

Speaking of buttons, I don't like the rubber ones. You can't always be sure you've pressed them properly. Can we go back to BIG metal buttons that go click?

I'm hard of hearing, so I want a volume device. Put it on the key pad, not on the side where it will get changed when jostled. And then there's the ringtone. Make it truly ear-splitting, so I can hear it when it's buried in my purse or pocket.

And speaking of purses, make it so that it flashes and vibrates violently, so I can see and feel it in my purse. While we are at it, get rid of the black and grey and dark blue and red. Make it BRIGHT YELLOW.

As for extras, well, a holder for a fresh daisy would be nice....